Well….It’s been a helluva month. It has been filled with so many emotions. I don’t know where to begin.
In my last, albeit brief, post I spoke of my friend Jonas. He was struck by a vehicle that had run a red light in Toronto. Sadly, he succumbed to his injuries and we lost a light so bright on this earth, I just don’t know how to comprehend it.
I was lucky enough to visit him while in hospital before he passed. He was in a coma, so I couldn’t just converse with him like I normally would. I made sure to tell him I loved him. To tell him that if this was his time to leave us, that he would be missed. But if it wasn’t, that he should keep fighting and come back to us. I wish it was the latter. I wish I had more time to tell him something more profound. Something so poignant that when I look back on it now, it would somehow comfort me.
I struggle with his loss. I wake up sometimes not remembering he’s gone. Then it hits me and I fall deep into this pit of guilt that I had forgotten. Maybe it’s not that I’ve forgotten, but that I am still in denial about it. How can a life be taken from us so quickly and at such a young age? It just isn’t fair.
I think of him often. Everyday. He was the funniest guy with a smile so big! His Dopey looking ears and a laugh that was infectious. The look in his eye when he had a plan, which really meant trouble was brewing. He wasn’t a big guy, shorter than me even. But his personality was bigger than all of us combined. When you needed a laugh or just some really great advice, Jonas was your man.
The past few weeks have been difficult. Reaching out to friends across the country to make sure they knew of his passing. Reuniting with friends I hadn’t seen in 10+ years since our days at Walt Disney World. That’s where I met Jonas. He arrived a few weeks before me on a shortened contract like my own. Even on the most unbearable days, his smile brought us out of the busyness that is Disney.
I am lucky to have called him a friend and I am grateful that our paths crossed all those years ago. Knowing I will never see him again is a pain so deep, so sharp….is something I cannot comprehend.
I know he would want me to continue to write. To share what I love so deeply. He loved to travel and he filled his 37 years on this earth with so much. As a friend said to me recently, ‘we should honour his death. We should live our lives like Jonas.’ Live it to the absolute fullest. Throw away your fears. Accept everyone for who they are. Be kind. And laugh.
I will be back soon to finish my stories about Australia. Thank you for bearing through this post with me. It feels better being able to write about it. Get it off my chest.
Until next time…